sotightandshiny

Anonymous asked:

Can you share some of your more creative punishments?

sotightandshiny answered:

When I am looking to correct problematic behavior, creativity is not what I’m aiming for. I like to make the punishment simple, to the point and befitting the crime. This isn’t fun-ishment, this is about teaching someone a lesson on how to behave the way I want them to. Often the punishment could be a lecture or being made to write an essay.

For example a typical punishment - If I tell a girl to arrive at my house clean shaven and she shows up with a hairy bush, I’ll take the time to wax the misbehaving subs offending area. Trust me, it’s not fun.

Perhaps I might give them some corner time with their nose pressing a penny against the wall, for a given amount of time, to think about their infraction. If they let the penny fall, the timer starts again.

Being made to hold books in outstretched arms and then being caned or flogged, while counting off the strokes and repeating a line regarding their misbehavior. If they drop a book, we start again.

Now when we’re just talking about creative acts of sadism for its own sake, I particularly enjoy predicament bondage situations. Some of my favorites:

  • Wiring a sub up with an e-stim, attached to a microphone. When the sub is beaten, it’s in her best interest to keep quiet or get shocked.
  • Placing a violet wand between a subs thighs and then striking her, forcing her to keep her thighs spread, lest she gets zapped.
  • Breath play with hood and rebreather hoses attached to a bottle of urine. Or simply attach a dildo to the hose and stuff it into an orifice, forcing them to use themselves as a rebreather. 
  • Extreme hogties that test the subs endurance and breath control.

Aside from that, I just love good old fashioned beatings, corporal punishment and tight, painful bondage. Throw in some degradation and dehumanization and I’d say we’ve had a fun night.

sotightandshiny:

mbstard:

uselessgirlrage:

mbstard:

littlebrokenbarbiedoll:

sotightandshiny:

imperfectpet:

I don’t like being punished…

I can take any torment my owners want to give, but I can’t stand being punished.

It’s irrelevant what the punishment is, just the fact that I’ve done something to deserve punishment is devastating

The worst punishment I have ever received was when Mistress just whispered “Bad girl…” and walked away from me…

You get it - the difference between punishment and simple torment. I like to make that clear because there is a big difference.

I can punish without lifting a finger. All it takes is a withering stare that will cut you to the bone. If I have my hooks in you, the sheer weight of my disappointment alone should be enough to deter misbehavior. 

There’s is nothing worse than knowing you’re disappointed with me. You said something before which hit me really hard and would was worse than any punishment.

Thank you. Someone actually drawing a distinction between “punishment” and “sadism”. I do get tired of the “Ooooo - I’ve been bad - do I get a spanking?”.

No. If you’ve been “bad”, I will make you understand that you have disappointed me. Just sitting on your own, in silence, in another room, for example. No, it isn’t “fun”.

And if you want a spanking (or anything else), ask nicely, properly, politely - and we’ll see if that sparks the relevant interest in me. The risk is, it may spark an entirely different interest, depending on my mood. But life is full of risks not taken :)

I’ve been this way since childhood — the worst punishment is what I inflict on myself, knowing that I’ve disappointed the person I care about and want to please, knowing I’ve failed somehow.

The absolute worst punishment for me is to be banished from my Man’s presence for any length of time. To sit alone and cry and think about how I’ve disappointed Him. It also forces me to think about how I can do better in the future.

BINGO. Fucking bingo. You CARE enough that it actually matters. It isn’t just play. You actually want (need) someone you can care about (and cares for/cherishes you) - to the point of absolute devotion. At least, that’s what I need in a sub. You want to give of yourself, absolutely everything you can ever possibly think of to give. One of the big challenges is actually finding someone that can accept that.

Ok, admission: now I’m ranting about what I want/expect in a sub!

It has to matter. If not, we’re just acting in our own personal porn. That’s all well and good, but there needs to be some feeling of purpose and duty behind it, for me to get really excited about dominating someone. It takes time and patience and both parts, but I find it so incredibly rewarding. It’s an art form to me and I am always practicing. I put a lot of work into what we do and I want her to appreciate that and reciprocate with the behavior that I prescribe. When I have to punish, I want them to realize it’s not fun for me either, but I do it because I care enough to correct the problem.

lilmissgin
bdsmafterthoughts:

fortheloveofasub:

First Things First - A BDSM Checklist
Recently I have received a series of private messages and asks from submissives outlining circumstances in which they are uncomfortable with, or in some cases downright frightened by something their Dominant has done or asked of them. The specific circumstances are not important but in all cases they are beyond the comfort zone of the submissive and at times have lead to some most unfortunate outcomes. These misfortunes range from physical harm to emotional anguish to damage of physical property. In nearly every case there is wreckage of some kind left behind and were it not for some good fortune and providence the circumstances and outcomes could have been far worse.
Are these unfortunate, uncomfortable and sometimes tragic instances simply a matter of bad Doms behaving badly? Sometimes they most certainly are. Other times they are a matter of ignorance and miscommunication. Still others result from a mismatch between the Dominant and their desires and the submissive and their comfort zones and desires. Sometimes these instances are the product of what I would consider to be an abusive or manipulative person thinking themselves to be a Dominant paired with a hungry and craving submissive with little or no knowledge or understanding of what constitutes a healthy D/s relationship. In any event, the outcomes can be tragic and it is painful and difficult to stand by and watch objectively and without judgement.
One of the most common threads I hear in the description of these unfortunate circumstances might go as follows: “I am a submissive and am collared by my Dom. We have been together for a few months and I am deeply in love with him. But recently he did [insert uncomfortable or unsafe act] and told me to do [insert additional uncomfortable or unacceptable act] and it resulted in [insert unfortunate and unnecessary disastrous outcome]. I don’t know how to feel about this and I know that my Dom is always right and that I should be grateful for his guidance, but this just does not feel good. Should I be mad? Am I allowed to be mad? Should he take some responsibility for the outcome? How can I talk to my Dom about this? When I try he gets angry and tells me that I am to do as I am told or can find another Dom.”
Sound familiar? If it does, you should be concerned. Very. There are so many alarm bells in that short description it is difficult to know where to begin and yet I hear similar tales over and over again.
Let’s begin with the description of the relationship itself; a submissive that has been with their Dom for a few months and is collared. Right away this tells me that neither the Dom nor the submissive have much experience in the BDSM lifestyle and are shooting from the hip. As I have said in my post on collars and collaring, having someone physically strap a collar around your neck does not make them a Dom and you a submissive. The process that leads to a permanent collar and the powerful relationship it embodies is a long, difficult and involved one. It takes years, not weeks or months.
Second, a Dom is not omnipotent and not always right. They have a deep responsibility to communicate openly and effectively with their submissive and listen and weigh concerns carefully. Even in a 24/7 TPE where all authority is ceded to the Master, there must be an effective means of raising issues and concerns and addressing them. “I am the Dom and you do whatever I say” is not the way this works and is a sign of a controlling and domineering person and not a competent and caring Dominant. A Dominant is granted tremendous power by a submissive but with it comes equally tremendous responsibility. You don’t get the power for nothing.
One of the first things I ask of the submissive writing me about these circumstances is whether the unacceptable action or demand on the part of their Dominant was within the scope of what had been previously agreed to under a pre-scene or BDSM questionnaire and subsequent agreement. Was the action or circumstance within the hard limits established within the relationship? Were your known boundaries exceeded or broken? The answer I almost universally receive is as shocking as it is tragic and goes something like this: “I am collared by my Dom and he is training me now. We have not gotten to the point where we have discussed hard limits or developed any agreement but I am sure we will in time.”
STOP! HOLD THE PHONE!!! CEASE AND DISIST!!!!!
You mean to tell me that you are putting your safety and life in someone else’s hands, a person who apparently has little or no experience in the BDSM lifestyle, and you have not examined or discussed your interests, desires, fears, concerns, and established hard limits? You are just blindly expecting that this “Dom” will always do the right thing as you see it and will never exceed your boundaries when none have been set? You are going to let someone do whatever they want to you (apparently out of their own self-interest) in the name of “training” and then sort it all out later? Does this even make sense?
Lets then look at what happens under the scenario above when the submissive goes back to this “Dom” and tries to communicate their concerns about what has happened. They are shut down. Worse, and perhaps possibly most tragically, their worst fear as a submissive is played upon and they are threatened with rejection and abandonment. This is not dominance, it is manipulation. And it is tragic.
There is so much wrong in this overall scenario it is difficult to cover it in a short blog entry. So I am going to focus on one thing that might help prevent some of these events from happening and might weed out some of the most ignorant or self-serving of would be Doms; the BDSM Checklist.
The BDSM Checklist
Before anyone, anywhere, engages in any form of power exchange or BDSM activity, a thorough BDSM checklist should be completed by both parties and the contents openly and honestly exchanged and discussed with one another. It is only through this exercise that both the potential Dominant and submissive can understand where each other’s desires, fears, demands, and limits are. It is here where mutual kinks will emerge and more importantly where significant mismatches may become apparent between the desires and demands of one and the fears and limits of the other. From these mismatches emerge the most important of boundaries and hard limits.
For example, one serious mismatch of expectations where no limits had been discussed and the result was near tragedy involved a “Dom” who demanded that his submissive go unaccompanied to a bar, find a random male, and sleep with them. This was done as a “punishment” for some unspecified offense because “slapping your ass does not seem to be doing the job.” The submissive dutifully followed through despite the fact that she was absolutely opposed to sleeping with someone else, especially a random person entirely unknown to her and unsupervised or protected by her Dom. Predictably the outcome was not good. When she attempted to discuss the matter with her “Dom” he shut her down and took no responsibility for the outcome.
There is much that is wrong with this scenario from a safety, common sense, and responsibility standpoint. But for the purposes of this discussion I want to focus on the fact that the notion of introducing others into the D/s relationship in question, let alone random strangers, had never been discussed let alone agreed to. Indeed, there had never been an effort made to examine any likes, dislikes and limits between the Dom and submissive despite the fact that they had been together for months and engaging in obviously significant power exchange activities in the name of “training.” Folks, this kind of behavior is wrong, it is dangerous and will end in broken hearts, damaged psyches, and possibly physical harm or death.
A BDSM checklist is crucial to understanding the boundaries of the playground a Dominant and submissive intend to romp in. Without it they are quickly going to find themselves playing out in the street in the middle of traffic. They will get run over eventually. In any potential D/s relationship, once an interest between two people is established one of the very first things they need to do is complete a BDSM checklist and walk through it item-by-item, honestly and openly comparing outcomes with one another. The purpose is to come to an understanding of the things each person likes/loves, the things they have never done before, where they might like to explore more, things that should be avoided, triggers that should be considered and avoided, limits that need to be established, and practical matters like STDs, birth control, involvement of others, what will be done in public versus private, personal security and anonymity, safe words, considerations for family and childrearing necessities, and a host of other matters. These things MUST be identified, discussed and agreed to BEFORE ever exchanging the first iota of power or playing the first mild scene together.
As a Dominant I would never consider “stepping into the ring” with a submissive for even a time-delimited play session, let alone a long-term relationship without having undertaken this exercise. It is just about the first thing I do with a submissive who has expressed interest in giving herself to me. This is not only for her protection but for my own peace of mind and ability to be effective. If I do not know what turns a submissive on, what she is curious about but too shy to try, what scares her, what life traumas might lead to an in-scene trigger, and what hard limits I need to avoid, I am stabbing blindly in the dark and hoping for the best. My chances of success as a Dominant are slim. After all, the greatest role a Dominant plays is in exploring the mind of a submissive, for it is there that her submission stems. If I have no insight whatsoever into how that mind thinks, I have no tools with which to work. I literally have both hands tied behind my back.
Every competent and respectable Dominant and Master I have met uses some form of process to examine these important facets of their submissive and share their own perspectives as well to arrive at a mutual understanding and trust as the basis of their relationship. I am not sure how a consensual and informed BDSM relationship can exist in the absence of such an undertaking.
There are many sources of good BDSM checklists both in print and online. One of the most readily accessible and comprehensive is the checklist contained in the book “Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns” by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. Another is contained in the recently published book “BDSM - The Naked Truth” by Dr. Charley Ferrer. I personally use one that I have adapted and expanded based on the Screw The Roses checklist. These lists can be long or short, and many pre-scene questionnaires used in lifestyle clubs and the like are fairly brief but then it is assumed that experienced players will be involved so they tend to only cover hard limits. This is not enough for a relationship. I recommend that for less experienced devotees and those desiring to engage in a D/s relationship that the more extensive the questionnaire the better. There is no way a newcomer can possibly anticipate everything that should be considered on their own and this is where some of the more extensive checklists become invaluable in getting one to think about and contemplate things that might never have occurred to them before.
Use these checklists, think hard about the issues they raise and how you feel about them. Check your egos at the door and take the time to understand your likes and limits and those of your partner. It is important to point out that limits are not just things you won’t do, but also things you have no experience in. As a Dominant, if you have no training or experience in various risky activities, do not use you submissive as a guinea pig. Seek guidance from experienced devotees and practitioners. Investing the time, care and energy in this simple but crucial step will greatly enhance the likelihood of a successful and pleasing D/s partnership and reduce the possibility of misunderstanding, pain and hurt. And frankly, anyone claiming to be a Dom who does not feel the need to take these important steps should be viewed with some additional scrutiny and concern. If they are not willing or even aware of the need to communicate at the outset, it is unlikely they will communicate openly and fairly when the chips are down and there is pain and suffering all around. Above all, do not place your safety and life in the hands of someone who has no idea of your needs, desires and limits and does not display the care to find out.
Be careful, be diligent, communicate, set boundaries and live by them.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
Image Credit Unknown

What excellent advice. Read, understand and follow both Doms and subs.

bdsmafterthoughts:

fortheloveofasub:

First Things First - A BDSM Checklist

Recently I have received a series of private messages and asks from submissives outlining circumstances in which they are uncomfortable with, or in some cases downright frightened by something their Dominant has done or asked of them. The specific circumstances are not important but in all cases they are beyond the comfort zone of the submissive and at times have lead to some most unfortunate outcomes. These misfortunes range from physical harm to emotional anguish to damage of physical property. In nearly every case there is wreckage of some kind left behind and were it not for some good fortune and providence the circumstances and outcomes could have been far worse.

Are these unfortunate, uncomfortable and sometimes tragic instances simply a matter of bad Doms behaving badly? Sometimes they most certainly are. Other times they are a matter of ignorance and miscommunication. Still others result from a mismatch between the Dominant and their desires and the submissive and their comfort zones and desires. Sometimes these instances are the product of what I would consider to be an abusive or manipulative person thinking themselves to be a Dominant paired with a hungry and craving submissive with little or no knowledge or understanding of what constitutes a healthy D/s relationship. In any event, the outcomes can be tragic and it is painful and difficult to stand by and watch objectively and without judgement.

One of the most common threads I hear in the description of these unfortunate circumstances might go as follows: “I am a submissive and am collared by my Dom. We have been together for a few months and I am deeply in love with him. But recently he did [insert uncomfortable or unsafe act] and told me to do [insert additional uncomfortable or unacceptable act] and it resulted in [insert unfortunate and unnecessary disastrous outcome]. I don’t know how to feel about this and I know that my Dom is always right and that I should be grateful for his guidance, but this just does not feel good. Should I be mad? Am I allowed to be mad? Should he take some responsibility for the outcome? How can I talk to my Dom about this? When I try he gets angry and tells me that I am to do as I am told or can find another Dom.”

Sound familiar? If it does, you should be concerned. Very. There are so many alarm bells in that short description it is difficult to know where to begin and yet I hear similar tales over and over again.

Let’s begin with the description of the relationship itself; a submissive that has been with their Dom for a few months and is collared. Right away this tells me that neither the Dom nor the submissive have much experience in the BDSM lifestyle and are shooting from the hip. As I have said in my post on collars and collaring, having someone physically strap a collar around your neck does not make them a Dom and you a submissive. The process that leads to a permanent collar and the powerful relationship it embodies is a long, difficult and involved one. It takes years, not weeks or months.

Second, a Dom is not omnipotent and not always right. They have a deep responsibility to communicate openly and effectively with their submissive and listen and weigh concerns carefully. Even in a 24/7 TPE where all authority is ceded to the Master, there must be an effective means of raising issues and concerns and addressing them. “I am the Dom and you do whatever I say” is not the way this works and is a sign of a controlling and domineering person and not a competent and caring Dominant. A Dominant is granted tremendous power by a submissive but with it comes equally tremendous responsibility. You don’t get the power for nothing.

One of the first things I ask of the submissive writing me about these circumstances is whether the unacceptable action or demand on the part of their Dominant was within the scope of what had been previously agreed to under a pre-scene or BDSM questionnaire and subsequent agreement. Was the action or circumstance within the hard limits established within the relationship? Were your known boundaries exceeded or broken? The answer I almost universally receive is as shocking as it is tragic and goes something like this: “I am collared by my Dom and he is training me now. We have not gotten to the point where we have discussed hard limits or developed any agreement but I am sure we will in time.”

STOP! HOLD THE PHONE!!! CEASE AND DISIST!!!!!

You mean to tell me that you are putting your safety and life in someone else’s hands, a person who apparently has little or no experience in the BDSM lifestyle, and you have not examined or discussed your interests, desires, fears, concerns, and established hard limits? You are just blindly expecting that this “Dom” will always do the right thing as you see it and will never exceed your boundaries when none have been set? You are going to let someone do whatever they want to you (apparently out of their own self-interest) in the name of “training” and then sort it all out later? Does this even make sense?

Lets then look at what happens under the scenario above when the submissive goes back to this “Dom” and tries to communicate their concerns about what has happened. They are shut down. Worse, and perhaps possibly most tragically, their worst fear as a submissive is played upon and they are threatened with rejection and abandonment. This is not dominance, it is manipulation. And it is tragic.

There is so much wrong in this overall scenario it is difficult to cover it in a short blog entry. So I am going to focus on one thing that might help prevent some of these events from happening and might weed out some of the most ignorant or self-serving of would be Doms; the BDSM Checklist.

The BDSM Checklist

Before anyone, anywhere, engages in any form of power exchange or BDSM activity, a thorough BDSM checklist should be completed by both parties and the contents openly and honestly exchanged and discussed with one another. It is only through this exercise that both the potential Dominant and submissive can understand where each other’s desires, fears, demands, and limits are. It is here where mutual kinks will emerge and more importantly where significant mismatches may become apparent between the desires and demands of one and the fears and limits of the other. From these mismatches emerge the most important of boundaries and hard limits.

For example, one serious mismatch of expectations where no limits had been discussed and the result was near tragedy involved a “Dom” who demanded that his submissive go unaccompanied to a bar, find a random male, and sleep with them. This was done as a “punishment” for some unspecified offense because “slapping your ass does not seem to be doing the job.” The submissive dutifully followed through despite the fact that she was absolutely opposed to sleeping with someone else, especially a random person entirely unknown to her and unsupervised or protected by her Dom. Predictably the outcome was not good. When she attempted to discuss the matter with her “Dom” he shut her down and took no responsibility for the outcome.

There is much that is wrong with this scenario from a safety, common sense, and responsibility standpoint. But for the purposes of this discussion I want to focus on the fact that the notion of introducing others into the D/s relationship in question, let alone random strangers, had never been discussed let alone agreed to. Indeed, there had never been an effort made to examine any likes, dislikes and limits between the Dom and submissive despite the fact that they had been together for months and engaging in obviously significant power exchange activities in the name of “training.” Folks, this kind of behavior is wrong, it is dangerous and will end in broken hearts, damaged psyches, and possibly physical harm or death.

A BDSM checklist is crucial to understanding the boundaries of the playground a Dominant and submissive intend to romp in. Without it they are quickly going to find themselves playing out in the street in the middle of traffic. They will get run over eventually. In any potential D/s relationship, once an interest between two people is established one of the very first things they need to do is complete a BDSM checklist and walk through it item-by-item, honestly and openly comparing outcomes with one another. The purpose is to come to an understanding of the things each person likes/loves, the things they have never done before, where they might like to explore more, things that should be avoided, triggers that should be considered and avoided, limits that need to be established, and practical matters like STDs, birth control, involvement of others, what will be done in public versus private, personal security and anonymity, safe words, considerations for family and childrearing necessities, and a host of other matters. These things MUST be identified, discussed and agreed to BEFORE ever exchanging the first iota of power or playing the first mild scene together.

As a Dominant I would never consider “stepping into the ring” with a submissive for even a time-delimited play session, let alone a long-term relationship without having undertaken this exercise. It is just about the first thing I do with a submissive who has expressed interest in giving herself to me. This is not only for her protection but for my own peace of mind and ability to be effective. If I do not know what turns a submissive on, what she is curious about but too shy to try, what scares her, what life traumas might lead to an in-scene trigger, and what hard limits I need to avoid, I am stabbing blindly in the dark and hoping for the best. My chances of success as a Dominant are slim. After all, the greatest role a Dominant plays is in exploring the mind of a submissive, for it is there that her submission stems. If I have no insight whatsoever into how that mind thinks, I have no tools with which to work. I literally have both hands tied behind my back.

Every competent and respectable Dominant and Master I have met uses some form of process to examine these important facets of their submissive and share their own perspectives as well to arrive at a mutual understanding and trust as the basis of their relationship. I am not sure how a consensual and informed BDSM relationship can exist in the absence of such an undertaking.

There are many sources of good BDSM checklists both in print and online. One of the most readily accessible and comprehensive is the checklist contained in the book “Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns” by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. Another is contained in the recently published book “BDSM - The Naked Truth” by Dr. Charley Ferrer. I personally use one that I have adapted and expanded based on the Screw The Roses checklist. These lists can be long or short, and many pre-scene questionnaires used in lifestyle clubs and the like are fairly brief but then it is assumed that experienced players will be involved so they tend to only cover hard limits. This is not enough for a relationship. I recommend that for less experienced devotees and those desiring to engage in a D/s relationship that the more extensive the questionnaire the better. There is no way a newcomer can possibly anticipate everything that should be considered on their own and this is where some of the more extensive checklists become invaluable in getting one to think about and contemplate things that might never have occurred to them before.

Use these checklists, think hard about the issues they raise and how you feel about them. Check your egos at the door and take the time to understand your likes and limits and those of your partner. It is important to point out that limits are not just things you won’t do, but also things you have no experience in. As a Dominant, if you have no training or experience in various risky activities, do not use you submissive as a guinea pig. Seek guidance from experienced devotees and practitioners. Investing the time, care and energy in this simple but crucial step will greatly enhance the likelihood of a successful and pleasing D/s partnership and reduce the possibility of misunderstanding, pain and hurt. And frankly, anyone claiming to be a Dom who does not feel the need to take these important steps should be viewed with some additional scrutiny and concern. If they are not willing or even aware of the need to communicate at the outset, it is unlikely they will communicate openly and fairly when the chips are down and there is pain and suffering all around. Above all, do not place your safety and life in the hands of someone who has no idea of your needs, desires and limits and does not display the care to find out.

Be careful, be diligent, communicate, set boundaries and live by them.

Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013

Image Credit Unknown

What excellent advice. Read, understand and follow both Doms and subs.

feministfuckdolltrainer
mindofdaddy:

Edge.
Edge for Me.  Edge any chance you get.  Even in public.  Especially in public.  
Never, NEVER cum without permission.  But you MUST touch.  You MUST edge.
Edge until touching yourself becomes automatic… unconscious… continuous… until you don’t even realize you are mindlessly stroking yourself in public, keeping yourself wet and ready for Me.
Edge while driving.  Edge while shopping.  Edge while dining.  Edge while waiting at the bus stop.  Edge while waiting in lines.  Edge when using the bathroom.  
Edge while sitting in the library studying.  Except we both know you aren’t really studying, are you, pet?  
Good girls learn to touch themselves unconsciously.  Obediently.  Addictedly.  That’s not a word, but your pretty little empty head doesn’t know that, and doesn’t care. 
Addict yourself to constant arousal, constant wetness, constant need, and constant availability.  
That’s it.  Edge for Me.
Good girl.

mindofdaddy:

Edge.

Edge for Me.  Edge any chance you get.  Even in public.  Especially in public.  

Never, NEVER cum without permission.  But you MUST touch.  You MUST edge.

Edge until touching yourself becomes automatic… unconscious… continuous… until you don’t even realize you are mindlessly stroking yourself in public, keeping yourself wet and ready for Me.

Edge while driving.  Edge while shopping.  Edge while dining.  Edge while waiting at the bus stop.  Edge while waiting in lines.  Edge when using the bathroom.  

Edge while sitting in the library studying.  Except we both know you aren’t really studying, are you, pet?  

Good girls learn to touch themselves unconsciously.  Obediently.  Addictedly.  That’s not a word, but your pretty little empty head doesn’t know that, and doesn’t care. 

Addict yourself to constant arousal, constant wetness, constant need, and constant availability.  

That’s it.  Edge for Me.

Good girl.

dumbbigtittedslut

Anonymous asked:

Love your blog and the mastery over cunt psychology you display. Where did you get your training?

hardcore-puppets answered:

I didn’t get any training, specifically. There’s just a lot of stuff that applies throughout life that can be hijacked.

Look at management books, principals in soft positional management, hostage negotiation, Stockholm syndrome & neurolinguistics (case studies, not popsci) knowing a lot about technical writing helps; you’re aiming to phrase things in order to remove ambiguity and doubt and present only a single possible outcome: its not that you expect your submissive to weasel out of things you’ve asked for, it’s that you don’t want an interpretation layer in what you’re asking them, no matter how small. 

Think of it like the difference between ordering a burger the way you want it, and ordering it in the way the Burger-place-worker has to punch it into the till. When you learn how to do it the latter way, there’s a palpable relief on the part of the worker, who no longer has to translate what you want into what they have to do.

Once you’ve established simple compliance, Its less about demanding things and more about presenting absolute clarity and maneuvering the subconscious. Creating simple puzzles that the submissive can solve and feel relief and a sense of achievement for completing makes unpacking their resistance a game that they like to win.

Habituate your property to feel a sense of relief and happiness when they perceive and meet your needs without being asked. I typically go very heavy on positive verbal and mental reinforcement and light on physical rewards. Punishment is reserved for instances of insubordination rather than incomplete or inadequate service : to my mind, it’s my failing if they’re not habitually giving me 100%

By going light on physical reward you remove positive experiences from the arrangement : instead of encouraging contact materialism, you encourage service. More I do this because good girls do it and I am a good girl and I like being a good girl and much less if I do this then he’ll let me go to the concert at the weekend. It allows me to keep the small gestures romantic rather than part of bargaining.

In the end, I prefer implicit rather than explicit power structures. My girls defer to me because that’s how I’ve taught them to prefer things. They don’t need to remind themselves of their role, which makes it much easier to maintain mine by creating a space for me to act within. 

Notes

Somewhere out there, a dude will read this and go “Lame. I dont bargain, I get what I want” and frankly the only thing I have to say to these people is that they have absolutely no idea what they are doing, in the most literal sense of the phrase. “Do this or I hit you” “Do this or I leave” and “Do this because I say so” are all forms of bargaining. They’re also clumsy, crude and childish. We can do better.

dumbbigtittedslut:

Wonderful, beautiful, brilliant advice. This is a must read for doms and subs alike.

scurvypenguin

scurvypenguin:

polylove-girls-blog:

  • Multiple people to do things with. Odds are that I’m not going to share all of my interests with a single person. With having multiple partners, however, the odds go up that I’ll share more of my interests with someone close to me and be able to further explore them. Also, I get exposed to more new interests with each of my sweeties, increasing my palette.  

  • Extended support network. When someone in my intimate circle is having a bad day, or experiences a crisis - they have several people to lean on. And, conversely, no one person is taxed out on giving support, because that support is spread out. 

  • Increased self-awareness. Intimate relationships act like mirrors we hold up to ourselves. And the reflection we see back in each relationship is slightly different, offering a new opportunity to discover something about ourselves. Having multiple intimate relationships gives us multiple perspectives to compare and contrast. 

  • Learning new things about a loved one. The flip side to the above is that when your loved one is experiencing multiple partners, they are learning new things about themselves. In that process, you get a very unique opportunity to see your loved one through someone else’s eyes and perhaps realize new things about them. 

  • Sexual Variety. Yes, I do admit it.. the opportunity to explore a variety of sexual interests is a really cool part of polyamory, even if that isn’t my drive for having multiple relationships.

  • Increased Individuality. In a coupled relationship, it’s really easy to slip into a couplecentric identity - of always doing things together, having the same friends, and having a unit identification. When you’re involved in multiple relationships, you base more of your identity on who you are, not by your relationship(s).  It’s really hard for someone to identify me as part of ‘FritzandCherie’ when they know that I have other sweeties important in my life.  

  • Personal Development. There’s nothing like having multiple partners to call you on your bullshit. In polyamory there’s a lot less room for personal insecurities and co-dependent communication patterns. When you have multiple people who you’re close with, who also communicate with each other in some form, you just simply can’t hide from your negative aspects and have to deal with them. 

Pretty interesting list, and I have to say I agree!

To remind myself.

martini-lover
submissivefeminist:

A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.
Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”—punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.
The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)
Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.
Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.
Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being. 
NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.
Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive. 
Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.
Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.
Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.
Humiliation
A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across. 

Clothing Restriction
Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.
Diapering
For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.
Sissification
Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems. 
Public Humiliation
Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control
Orgasm control is simply that—controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging
Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.
Toy Restriction
For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.
Forced Orgasms
Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal—either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm. 
Denial
Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.
Chastity
Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline
Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores
Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!
Furniture Restriction
Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.
Caging
Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.
Bedtime
A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.
Time-Out
Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.
Sensory Deprivation
Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.
Objectification
Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.
Dietary Restriction
If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.
Speech Restriction
For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment
Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact
If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes. 
Rice Kneeling
Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.
Figging
Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments
Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines
Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.
Apology Letter
An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.
Essay
An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.
Homework
Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you—because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!
xx SF

submissivefeminist:

A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.

Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”—punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.

The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)

Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.

Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.

  • Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being. 
  • NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.
  • Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive. 
  • Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.
  • Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.
  • Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.

Humiliation

A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across. 

Clothing Restriction

Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.

Diapering

For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.

Sissification

Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems. 

Public Humiliation

Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is simply that—controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging

Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.

Toy Restriction

For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.

Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal—either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm. 

Denial

Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.

Chastity

Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores

Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!

Furniture Restriction

Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.

Caging

Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.

Bedtime

A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.

Time-Out

Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.

Objectification

Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.

Dietary Restriction

If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.

Speech Restriction

For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact

If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes. 

Rice Kneeling

Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.

Figging

Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments

Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines

Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.

Apology Letter

An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.

Essay

An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.

Homework

Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you—because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!

xx SF

pleasingprey

Anonymous asked:

I've been wanting to try anal but every time after he puts it in I squirm away, is there a way to get it to hurt less? it just feels a lil weird.

pleasingprey answered:

This is in response to two questions about reducing the pain of anal sex and someone being concerned for their girlfriend (super sweet, by the way! Always make sure you do things safely people!!)

- Lube. Lube is very important and helps skin and other material not stick and cause more painful friction. The lube I use and absolutely love is called Pink Water. The small bottle goes a long way! So don’t be afraid of going small and cheap first. This, I think, is the most important thing.

- If you can afford it, consider purchasing anal training plugs. They usually come as a three pack, small, medium and large. They’re great and a safe way to practice and get used to going bigger. If you want to and enjoy getting to the large plug, it’ll make it much easier for a guy to slide his cock in after taking out the large plug.

- If you can’t afford plugs, his fingers work great too. Add some lube to the first one and slowly slide it in (or the small plug, depending on what you’re using).

- Pain can never be completely removed. But the lube and starting small is the best way to go. You’ll possibly, at some point, feel a pinch/maybe a burning sensation. This is because you’re trying to first stretch something that normally only stretches last for…well, you know. And doesn’t stay stretched for long. So slow is nice. Remember to take deep, relaxing breaths. Breathing as relaxing your muscles is also super important.

- As his finger or the plug slides in deeper, eventually your ass will “give in”. The finger or plug will slide in with ease and the pain should go away. At least, that’s how it went for me. Keep it in for a moment. Get used to the feeling. Keep breathing and try to stay relaxed. Move and wiggle the plug, slide it gently in and out (not all the way out, but you get it I think). Get used to the feeling. Keep it in for a bit. If you want to advance, go for it. Try the same steps with a second finger or the medium plug. And so on.

- If you want to wait and keep practicing, do that. Maybe once or twice a day. The plugs are nice because you can keep them in for long periods. Like an hour maybe. Or whatever you feel comfortable with. If not, and you want to have anal sex with cock the same night, I can’t stop you. And my advice would be to go slow, use fingers, lube, and understand there will be some pain. But lube also prevents tearing.

- Always put a decent amount of lube on cock. All down the whole shaft. Having a cock inside of you will feel very full and deep. It’s best to slide in slowly and also begin thrusting slowly. Some women, including me, will have a sensation that you’ll have to go to the bathroom. Most likely, you won’t. That’s normal. And you can probably figure out why.

- The faster you get ass fucked, the more careful you should be. MEN: Don’t pull out super fast. Ever. I don’t care what happens in porn, be gentle when you pull out. Look up what the “pink sock” is. It’s not good.

- If you’re worried about a mess, it rarely happens. Poop doesn’t just sit in your ass at the edge. It’s deep. Usually nothing will get on your toy, fingers or his cock. But if it happens, don’t freak out. Have some baby wipes or a damp towel around and maybe hand sanitizer. If you’re THAT worried about a mess, don’t have anal sex. If you can’t be mature about it, don’t do it.

- Also, if you’re worried about cum ad what happens if he cums inside of your ass, remember that cum is natural and will just be absorbed by the body. If it’s deep, usually it doesn’t come back out. But sometimes it might. Showers or baby wipes are good to have. :)

- I hope this all helps. It’s all based on my experiences and research, for any questions, feel free to ask! Also remember I’m not a doctor. Please be safe and cautious and understand that we aren’t biologically supposed to have sex anally. So it’s riskier. SAFETY and your health is the most important thing.